Let me tell you something about this whole losing weight thing. It’s always, always easy to lose weight. It’s difficult to keep losing weight for any significant period of time, and it’s harder still to keep that weight off. For a fat bloke anyway. If you scratch the surface of a fat bloke (which to be honest, probably isn’t a good idea – it can take ages to get that stuff out from under your fingernails) you’ll be scratching a serial dieter of some sort.
In the past I’ve lost weight on the Atkins diet (about 4.5 stone I think), I’ve lost weight on Weight Watchers (about 2.5 stone I think), I’ve lost weight on Paul McKenna’s method (1.5 stone or thereabouts) and I’ve even lost weight by just eating sensibly (countless stone over the years). There is of course a recurring pattern in this, in that I’ve always put the weight back on afterwards. On the face of it, that’s probably a good thing, otherwise I’d now be dangerously thin, but I’m really just clutching at straws here ;-). So what’s the problem? Why does the weight always go back on? I know it’s obvious, but sometimes it helps to spell it out – the weight goes back on because I always go back to eating in pretty much the same way that earned me fat bloke status in the first place.
Part of the problem with this is that if it’s all so damn obvious (and most of it is really, really obvious) why do we still do it? Why do we still continue to shovel food into our mouths knowing that our weight, our self-loathing and our shame grows with every forkful? I think that’s where it probably begins to get a little complicated. I guess it’s possible that all fat blokes are actually just really stupid and a bit slow on the update, but I don’t think so. None of us like being the way that we are, yet we’ve all failed to do anything about it.
It’s very disheartening to KNOW before you walk into a room, that you’re going to be the biggest person in there. Now I know I’m not the fattest bloke on the planet, and that there are lots of people larger than me, but the odds simply aren’t on my side. In most scenarios, I’ll be the biggest guy there. That’s quite an important aspect of this, as everyone who’s ever tried to lose weight thinks that they understand what this is like. Well let me tell you loud and clear, that YOU DON’T! Honestly. I know you’re a nice person, and that you mean well, and you’re trying to show empathy, but the fact that you might be a couple of pounds, or even a couple of stone overweight does not mean that you understand what it’s like to be at the more extreme end of the weight scale. The difference between you not being the weight that you’d like to be, and me not being even close to the weight that you’re so unhappy with, is the equivalent to someone saying they understand what it’s like to be an alcoholic, because they once sipped a gin and tonic. They might be related topics, but the fact that you can say it, shows that you have no understanding of the scale of the problem.
Rant over. For now.
The Shrinking Man.