Week 44’s weigh in has just been completed, and I’m slightly relieved to only report a +1. It’s not the best of results of course, but I’ve not had the best of weeks, so to be completely honest I’m happy with it.
I won’t bore you with the details, but I’ve had a really busy week, and a particularly challenging one from a WW point of view, as I’ve been forced to endure ( 😉 ) three days of buffet lunches and three nights of takeaways. I’ve struggled to point a lot of what I’ve eaten this week, partly through just not having the time, and partly through not having much control over what I’d eaten.
Anyway, the end result is that I’ve gained a little bit of weight this week, but I’m not too concerned about it at the moment. On the surface this is quite a straightforward scenario:
- lots of stuff happened this week that resulted in me eating too much at times
- that led to me not tracking what I ate
- that ended up with me not adjusting what I ate at other times to compensate.
The maths in that little list wouldn’t make sense to a mathematician, but they probably make perfect sense to any fat blokes out there. In this case, 1 + 2 + 3 = +1.
It’s a useful reminder of how far I have to go with this before I’m safe to be allowed out on my own. Just a few days of not tracking and I put on weight! That’s a bit of a “let’s bring TSM back down to earth” moment, but probably a very good lesson in the wider scheme of things. It’s probably worth adding that my eating got worse as the week went on, even as the external pressures that were there at the start of the week dissipated. There was a sort of “well I’ve already blown it this week, so it doesn’t matter if I eat a pound of lard as a snack” kind of mentality going on.
Perhaps every now and again I need a break from the pressures to do this ‘right’ all the time? Perhaps I’m just kidding myself that I’m actually making changes at all, at least on any deep level, and deep down, I’m still the same food-shovelling-machine that I’ve always been? I don’t think I am, but I do think that I still have food-shovelling-machine tendencies (food-shovelling-machine has a certain ring to it! – I might use that a bit!!!) and that’s quite unsettling to know it’s still sitting there, waiting. Only time will tell I guess…
My suits are getting too big for me. Not the suits I was wearing when I started this – they look very much like they should be worn with a big red nose, huge shoes and face paints that even the women on the counters in Boots would baulk at. These are the suits that I rescued from the loft from a previous thinner life some months ago. They’re not looking stupid just yet, but they’re definitely on the ‘too big’ side, so I have some shopping coming up I think.
Clothes shopping is always a difficult thing for fat blokes to do, but it’s particularly hard if they’re in the process of shrinking. On the one hand, having clothes that make you feel good about yourself is a good thing, and while there is something to be said for wearing clothes that are too big for you, there’s a lot more to be said for wearing smaller clothes that actually fit you. The other problem is that you have to ask yourself some serious questions about how much you want to spend. The one thing that you expect while you’re in the middle of a shrink, is that you will not be the weight you are for any sustained length of time. You hope that is because you will shrink further, which would make it a bit daft to spend too much as you’ll need to replace them soon. At the same time, you fear that is because you’ll become the gaining man once more and end up not being able to get into the nice new expensive clothes that you’ve just bought, although we’ll block that thought process out for now 😉
The bottom line on this I guess is that wearing nice clothes that fit properly is a very positive thing for a shrinking man to do, so I’m not going to let either of those scenarios distract me for now. Nice clothes will have to be bought. Quite when I’m going to have the time to go shopping, or where on earth I’m going to find the money from are questions that I’m sure I’ll find a way to deal with as we go along.
Anyway, I’m surprisingly positive for a week with a gain, but let’s be honest, putting on a pound when you’ve already lost 56 isn’t really anything to be too concerned about. All I’ve got to do this week is make sure I reverse the trend and get back on track.
Have a great week.
The Shrinking Man