TSM Airways are pleased to announce the arrival of Mr 14st something man. We would like to apologise for the late arrival of this milestone, and particularly for the confusion over the last few weeks regarding whether it would arrive at all, but we are more pleased than it would ever be possible to explain that it’s finally here!!!!!!!!
28th weigh-in just completed and four pounds off! Oh yes!
I tipped the scales this morning at 14st 12lb, which brings my running total to 48lb lost. That’s just one pound from having lost three and a half stone, a couple from the big five-oh, and just three pounds from my next target of having lost 20% of my starting weight. The fact that it’s now officially Christmas and that my next couple of weigh-ins will undoubtedly be going in the wrong direction really doesn’t matter – I weight 14st something again for the first time in an amount of years usually described as lots, so I am therefore rather wonderfully pleased with myself.
As well as thanking my agent, my family and my fellow cast members, it’s worth restating that I’ve had problems recently, and it would therefore be remiss of me to continue without touching on what’s made the difference. Most importantly, I took last week’s 2lb gain very seriously. It hurt. A lot. It was another of those points where it would have been easy to just give up, and to go back to the old ways of eating, and the weight-gain that would inevitably follow. But I didn’t.
Something was wrong, and it was either something fatally flawed with the new WW system, or it was something wrong with how I was following the new WW system. If it was the former, then there was nothing I could do about it, but if it was the latter, then I just needed to understand what it was. I went right back to basics, paid a lot more attention to what and how much I was eating, and made sure that EVERYTHING I ate was pointed properly. I also made a pact with myself that I wasn’t going to touch my weekly bonus points unless I really felt the need to.
Now I can’t state for definite that I wouldn’t have lost 4lb this week whatever I did, but I’m fairly certain that I’d got a bit sloppy over my pointing over the previous weeks and months, and paid the price for that over the last month or so. I weighed a few food things just to see whether I was estimating properly, and every time I did that, I found out that I’d been under-estimating. I’m also fairly certain that I’d been missing things out as well, although that’s harder to say for sure, as if I was aware of something, then I always pointed it. Anyway, once I started giving it all a bit more attention, then I go and lose four pounds. That’s pretty much all of the evidence I need 🙂 .
I’ve made one other really important discovery, and it’s one that hurts to admit, but I have to be up front with myself about this one. I have a problem with jelly sweets. I’ll say that again, but in a bigger font, just to really get the point across:
I have a problem with jelly sweets!
Midget gems, wine gums and all other sorts of jelly sweets have the potential to be my downfall, and much as I’ve tried to convince myself that I’ve mastered that problem, then I have not and I cannot. I hate that. There are two aspects to this – first of all, if I buy a big bag of wine gums, then I simply CANNOT just have a few. No ifs or buts, I just simply CANNOT do it. They trigger off some sort of desire and need in me that no matter how much I try to be strong, or to forget about them, they call to me incessantly until they are eaten. If I have an open packet of wine gums in the house, I actually wake up thinking about them! That’s pretty ridiculous isn’t it?
That’s not the end of the world of course, because it just means that if I’m going to buy them, then I buy small packets, and there’s no problem. It’s the second aspect of this that is most intriguing and most annoying though, as it means that’s not really a solution. When I eat jelly sweets, then fairly instantly I get pretty much uncontrollable urges to eat other foods. And to eat a lot of them. I don’t think that it matters what that food is, just that I eat it. But it just gives me the urge to EAT! Honestly urge isn’t a strong enough term here – it’s more of a NEED! I have absolutely no idea what that’s all about, but it sounds and feels like addiction to me, which is frankly ridiculous. Is it possible to be addicted to midget gems? Are there support groups for this sort of thing? Are there meetings taking place right now across the globe where groups of fat men and women applaud each other for sharing their tales of addiction to wine gums?
I am aware that in the wider scheme of things it’s not exactly much of a problem, but it’s annoying, because I want to be in control of what I eat, and it would appear that I don’t have any sensible control options available here, other than abstinence. I can do abstinence, it’s just that I wanted to be able to deal with this in a slightly more grown-up way, but right now I don’t think that’s an option. If anyone out there can help explain exactly what is going on inside my body with this, then I’d love to know.
Anyway, I’m in a great mood, and I’m really pleased to finally get under 15st. I’m guessing it will take a while to get the three pounds off that sit between me and my next target, what with it being Christmas and me intending to let my hair down a little bit, but once that happens then I really need to start thinking about my end-goal. I know that my next target will be 13st 9lb, as that will bring about two new milestones. First of all it will mean that I’ve lost 25% of my starting weight, which will be quite an achievement in itself. Secondly, and in my eyes most importantly, it will take me below the lowest weight I’ve been since my teens (probably). A number of years ago, I got my weight down to 13st 10lb (albeit just for one week – lol) doing the Atkins diet and that’s a big target for me. Reaching that figure, but doing it by eating sensibly and exercising rather than what for me was an unsustainable approach to eating will be a really key achievement. From there, well right now who knows? I’ll give it some though over the next few months.
From this side of the keyboard, it’s going to be a lovely Christmas – have a lovely one yourselves, and I’ll let you know how much weight I put on soon 🙂 .