I’m struggling right now. It’s not the end of the world I know, but it’s weeks like these that make me realise that I’ve still got a long way to go before this becomes a way of life and not a diet. I’ve just completed my 22nd weigh-in and I’ve stayed the same, which would normally be a little disappointing, but this week it’s a relief. I really was expecting to gain some weight, so am rather glad that I haven’t.
I’ve not gone mad and binged out or anything, but I’ve just found it really difficult to stay within my points this week. I think a better way to describe that would be to say that I’ve found it difficult to want to stay within my points this week. Providing you’re tracking what you eat, then staying within your points isn’t difficult – you just stop eating when you’ve hit your points total. My issue for the last few weeks has been that I didn’t really care whether I went over my points or not, and oddly enough, managed to go over my points on quite a few days this week.
I think there are a few things going on here – first of all, I think it’s safe to say that I’m a bit bored. I tend to find things that I like to eat, settle into a pattern of mainly eating those things for a while, and then don’t notice in time that I’m a bit fed up with that. When I get fed up, I stop eating the things that I’m bored with, don’t have much of a plan of what to do next, and then end up eating crap. Or at least crapper.
It’s the lack of motivation that’s the biggest concern for me though – I’ve lost 40lb so far and I’m looking and feeling better than I have done for years, yet I can’t seem to get myself motivated to carry it on. What’s that all about?
I think I’ve reached a stage where if I’m consciously deciding what to eat, then I can make some pretty sensible choices, which is indeed progress from 22 weeks ago. What I’m becoming more and more aware of each week is that underneath that, I’ve still got a lot of bad habits to deal with. If I’m not consciously deciding, but just instinctively choosing what I ‘want’ to eat, then my former eating habits come to the fore. That’s both worrying and intriguing. I’m not sure whether that’s something that will get better over time, or whether it’s something that I’m stuck with, and that will never change. The positive side to that dilemma is that it’s not that difficult to counter – all I need to do is to have a bit of a plan for what I’m going to eat during a week, and the instinctive decision making ceases to be relevant, but I still find that intriguing as to what it says about how I got here in the first place.
A quick question for all you thin people out there – are you always cold? I’m feeling the cold more right now than I ever have in my life, and it must be due to losing the weight. Is this what I’m stuck with forever now? Will I always be looking for jumpers every time someone opens a window, or will my body learn to regulate itself better? Anyone with any idea on that, then please let me know either by commenting on here or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The other thing that’s unsettled me this week is that weight-watchers are apparently changing their entire approach to weight loss tomorrow morning. That’s a fairly dramatic event, and while I’m interested to see what’s happening, I’m appalled at the way that weight-watchers have chosen to go about it. A few weeks ago, there was a hint on the website that something new was coming, which was quite intriguing. Then suddenly articles started appearing in the press with what claimed to be fairly detailed breakdowns of what the new plan involved, but nothing coming officially to the WW customers. I’ve been left feeling really isolated by this – those who go to WW meetings have apparently been getting information at those, yet those of us who pay to use the WW online tools have had nothing. It would appear that as of tomorrow, everything changes, but they’ve chosen not to tell me. That scares the pants off of me, and makes me quite cross too. It suggests that WW aren’t interested in their online customers, and just see them as a source of easy money, but it also suggests that WW as an organisation have no idea just how fragile the mindset of the common or garden fat-bloke in weight-loss mode really is. Rant over.
Anyway, it’s been a tough week, and I have to get myself sorted out properly and start wanting to stay on top of this whole thing, else Mr Fat-Bloke will be back, and that is quite simply not going to happen.
Have a good week.