Where it gets tricky…

Let me tell you something about this whole losing weight thing.  It’s always, always easy to lose weight.  It’s difficult to keep losing weight for any significant period of time, and it’s harder still to keep that weight off.  For a fat bloke anyway.  If you scratch the surface of a fat bloke (which to be honest, probably isn’t a good idea – it can take ages to get that stuff out from under your fingernails) you’ll be scratching a serial dieter of some sort.

In the past I’ve lost weight on the Atkins diet (about 4.5 stone I think), I’ve lost weight on Weight Watchers (about 2.5 stone I think), I’ve lost weight on Paul McKenna’s method (1.5 stone or thereabouts) and I’ve even lost weight by just eating sensibly (countless stone over the years).  There is of course a recurring pattern in this, in that I’ve always put the weight back on afterwards.  On the face of it, that’s probably a good thing, otherwise I’d now be dangerously thin, but I’m really just clutching at straws here ;-).  So what’s the problem?  Why does the weight always go back on?  I know it’s obvious, but sometimes it helps to spell it out – the weight goes back on because I always go back to eating in pretty much the same way that earned me fat bloke status in the first place.

Part of the problem with this is that if it’s all so damn obvious (and most of it is really, really obvious) why do we still do it?  Why do we still continue to shovel food into our mouths knowing that our weight, our self-loathing and our shame grows with every forkful?  I think that’s where it probably begins to get a little complicated.  I guess it’s possible that all fat blokes are actually just really stupid and a bit slow on the update, but I don’t think so.  None of us like being the way that we are, yet we’ve all failed to do anything about it. 

It’s very disheartening to KNOW before you walk into a room, that you’re going to be the biggest person in there.  Now I know I’m not the fattest bloke on the planet, and that there are lots of people larger than me, but the odds simply aren’t on my side.  In most scenarios, I’ll be the biggest guy there.  That’s quite an important aspect of this, as everyone who’s ever tried to lose weight thinks that they understand what this is like.  Well let me tell you loud and clear, that YOU DON’T!  Honestly. I know you’re a nice person, and that you mean well, and you’re trying to show empathy, but the fact that you might be a couple of pounds, or even a couple of stone overweight does not mean that you understand what it’s like to be at the more extreme end of the weight scale.  The difference between you not being the weight that you’d like to be, and me not being even close to the weight that you’re so unhappy with, is the equivalent to someone saying they understand what it’s like to be an alcoholic, because they once sipped a gin and tonic.  They might be related topics, but the fact that you can say it, shows that you have no understanding of the scale of the problem.

Rant over.  For now.

The Shrinking Man.

2 thoughts on “Where it gets tricky…”

  1. on a realated note, well you prob dont experience this but it drives me crazy when friends, nice friends who are aupportive and would never hurt me on puropose say things like”oh my god , im so fat!!” when they are a size 10. it makes me feel so embarassed. What do they think of me if they think they are fat!

    Also, ive never managed to loose more than 1.5 stone and that took about 3 years to creep back on. I cant imagine ever being thin and going back to this. wouldnt you go back to eating better as soon as your new skinny clothes dont fit anymore? i hear of so many people putting it all back on, starting to worry its inevitable.

  2. Hi Fi,

    I know what you mean – first of all I have female friends who say just that, but the same thing applies with guys, it’s just the terminology that’s slightly different. Instead of “oh my god, I’m so fat” it tends to be “oh my god, I’m so unfit” but the end result is just the same :-).

    I can’t really explain how I managed to put it all back on again, except to say that it was scarily easy. It’s all relative I guess, so while you may be putting on a lot of weight over a relatively short period of time, you’re only putting on a little bit each week, and that’s easy to ignore. I don’t believe that it’s inevitable. I’m scared that it might be very, very difficult to avoid, but that’s part of what I’m doing on here – trying to make some sort of sense of what goes on in my head, as I’m sure that that’s where the answers lie.

    Cheers for reading 🙂

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